the post-vacation week

I know everyone says it, but really, I need a few more vacation days after the vacation. We flew in Monday morning, and I haven't been ready to jump back into the thick of it yet. Post-vacation week is always full of rounds of the this-time-last-week game, which is thoroughly masochistic and, for me, inevitable.

This week I've tried to capitalize on motivation spurts so that I can do laundry, make dinner, and even exercise a little. I know. Post-vacation week is kind of weird sometimes. (Side note: I signed up for a Daily Burn trial, which any Hulu watcher will be familiar with. I almost enjoy the workouts. Almost.) I bought several more cuts of fabric on my trip (obviously) and have committed myself to some spring cleaning before I can dive into some spring sewing. My life is sometimes all about incentive.

Tomorrow and Sunday I'll be tuned in to the LDS General Conference, and I can't wait. For an entire weekend I get to listen to great speakers and feel rejuvenated and inspired in facing the daily grind. If you get a chance, you should listen for a bit. It's pretty great. You can find streaming options here. (We stream the conference onto our Roku so we can view all those older guys in high-def. It's the best.)

Before I sign off for the weekend, I'll leave you with a few tips for post-vacation week:

:: have a friend who will provide you with a 32-ounce soda when she picks you up from the airport
:: keep a few episodes of your current binge show to watch when you're feeling blue
:: when you feel a motivation burst, do the laundry
:: make frosted sugar cookie bars
:: text with your mom and sisters about this time last week and feel sad when you need to

I now give you permission to start an early weekend and eat pizza for dinner. Obviously.

on being an introvert, a Q&A part one

Today we're heading back to Cannon Beach, but this time with the entire Wilson/Snow clan. So while we're soaking up some coasting, I thought I'd publish part of a post I've been working on for a few days. You enjoy these thoughts, and I'll be enjoying my Haystack Rock crepe, thank you very much.
___

I'm an introvert, and sometimes I think I'm misunderstood. You know introverts, and you might even be one yourself. You're in good company. If you get overwhelmed by packed social schedules and large groups of people, you're not crazy or antisocial. Chances are, you're an introvert.

So I want to talk about that.

Aren't introverts antisocial and unfriendly?
Mostly false. Introverts are sometimes antisocial and rarely unfriendly. I certainly wouldn't say that unfriendliness is a characteristic particular to introverts. In fact, introverts deal with these misconceptions all the time.

So what is an introvert?
An introvert is someone who derives their mental and emotional energy from being alone. An extrovert on the other hand, generates energy through social interaction. When my calendar is packed with so many places and events, I burn out quickly, especially if I have a hard time carving out time for myself. I have extrovert friends who thrive on a full social life, but I need downtime to recharge my batteries.

Do introverts enjoy social activities?
For the most part, yes! Especially when they come fully charged, they can really enjoy a large social gathering and can even be the life of the party. It's not that introverts hate being social, they just need to be ready for it. As an introvert, sometimes I'm not ready for a big party, even if it's with good friends. Lots of factors go into an introvert's energy well: household responsibilities, work obligations, church duties, and let's not forget parenting littles. Sometimes I'm just so burned out emotionally that I can't bear the thought of mustering nonexistent energy for socializing. When I'm prepared, though, I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to parties and get-togethers with friends.

What counts as "downtime"?
Usually I count downtime as time that I have to myself with no commitments or obligations. Ideally this includes baby-less time with no household work allowed. Sometimes this happens. Sometimes it doesn't. Depending on the week or day, I can recharge while folding laundry or unloading the dishwasher. I'd rather that chores not be a part of my recharging, but sometimes they have to be. Any activity that leaves you feeling mentally and emotionally recharged can count as downtime.

How does family life work for an introvert?
I'm not going to lie, mothering as an introvert presents its unique set of emotional challenges. While my son is usually a ball of chubby delight, engaging with him does qualify as social interaction. Even on our best days, I'm often left feeling socially tired by the end of the day. Most of the time my time with Josh at night counts as downtime, especially if we're watching our shows. But sometimes I encourage Josh to go play his video game for an hour so that I have time for just me. (He's usually quite obliging.) Because my first priority is my family, I sometimes have to stretch out my energy pretty thin. Sometimes your life will be so busy that the time you have available for yourself isn't much. That's okay for a season. Even if you can plan out just half an hour for yourself, you'll know to maximize your recharge time.

How has motherhood affected your introversion?

Motherhood has produced somewhat of an introversion phenomenon for me. While I certainly experience the expected need for a baby-break, I also have developed more grown-up social needs. Just a couple of weeks ago, my girl friends planned a dessert night. I'd had a really rough day with the babe, so introvert logic might demand that I skip the party and stay at home eating ice cream from the carton. But instead, I felt an even greater need to get out of the house for a bit and not have to worry about anything baby- or household-related. I was gone for over two hours, and it was glorious. That girl time was just what I needed to refuel my tank. Later that week I did need to have a quiet, no-commitment evening, but for that night, girl-talk with the girls was exactly what I wanted.

I have a second part to this post that I'll publish maybe next week when I'm in Denver. Are you an introvert? What counts as downtime for you? Are you an extrovert? What is it like to have oceans-full of social energy?

unedited

As of 07.03.2013

Turns out that unpacking a home with a babe as your sidekick can really throw a wrench in your momentum and motivation. So things have been moving a bit more slowly in the settling in camp. But we're working on it, and today our home is looking much better than it did yesterday. Also, that boy with his out-of-control hair is the best sidekick I could have asked for.

distractions

I'm two finals down and two more to go. I'm in the library studying for those last two finals and am finding my concentration fading.

Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

I'm so close. Two more finals. . . . And boom goes the dynamite.

Good intentions. . . .

Yesterday, this was my to-do list:

• Personal finance "Wealth of Great Health" assignment
• Daily internet task for personal finance
• read through Howl's Moving Castle chapter 10
• Finish The Millionaire Next Door
  
• Read my scriptures first :)
• Get through half of History of the Book review sheet
• Get through three days of personal finance notes and eleven Millionaire Next Door review points
• Go to Target
• Clean my sheets and towels

Note that this list was titled "What I HAVE to get done today." How much did I cross off?? Three things: reading my scriptures, going to Target, and doing my laundry. I worked on a couple of the other things but only was able to cross off three things. Oi vey.

On the Hunt aka Hello?! I'm Awesome, So Hire Me!

I've been home for about a month and am still on the hunt for steady employment. I've had a couple of well-paid temp jobs, so that's been nice, but still. Something consistent would be ideal. Sure the first week or two of break I wasn't avidly looking for work, because I was so burned out from school. And then I also didn't want to finally get a job only to have to say that I needed six days off for a family vacation. Well, the burned-out-ness is gone and the vacation over, so Charlotte, you need to get a job.

I have applied at the following establishments:

• Lakeshore Staffing: a couple of short-term jobs found here (already completed)
• Barnes and Noble
• Borders
• Hobby Lobby
• US Buckley Air Force Base (I actually really want this one)
• Ann Taylor Factory
• Nine West: I have an interview on Wednesday
• Chili's
• Old Navy
• The Gap
• Bath and Body Works
• Hallmark
• DSW Shoes

I just want to plaster across my resume Hey! I'm a stellar person! You would love for me to work for you. Just ask those who know me, especially my mom--I'm awesome. Hire me!!!! But I can't do that. Saving for school is hard, and I'm on the hunt--wish me luck.

Conference recap

So school has been so incredibly busy that I haven't gotten a chance to blog about my awesome weekend!

Michelle invited Emily and me over, and we ended up spending the whole weekend with her and her family. Watching Conference is just so much more enriching for me when I watch it with my family; and despite my immediate family living five hundred miles away, I feel such a closeness and solidarity knowing that they are watching the exact thing I am at the exact same time. Testimonies are so unifying.

Saturday night, my grandparents from Canada took Emily and me out to dinner. We didn't know they were planning on coming into town until we got a call from them on Thursday night--what an amazing surprise! It was so great to see them; because they live in Canada, we're never quite sure when we'll next get to spend time with them. Much to my blogger dismay, I didn't a get picture :( It was definitely a highlight of my weekend, though.

Another major highlight was doughnut night on Saturday!! It was Michelle's first foray into doughnut making, and I will testify that she is a born doughnut maker!! Delicious :) We all watched Conference on Sunday and then had Sunday dinner. We played games and just relaxed and had fun together. I had such a great time, and I left wondering why Emily and I don't come over more. And now next semester, Michelle and her family will be in Paris. Blast. (For us, not them :) )

I wish I had more time to thoroughly document all aspects of my weekend, but alas, the clock is telling me that I need to get back to writing my essay exam. (I have been thoroughly unproductive in the school department today.) So here are some quick highlights from my Conference experience:

• Live providently--in such times as these, we need to learn to live within our means, and we'll be okay.
• We need to become acquainted with the voice of the Holy Ghost.
• Obedience gives us greater control over our lives.
• Covenants produce the faith necessary to persevere.
• Our opportunity to face adversity manifests God's infinite love for us.
• If we do all we can to be worthy of the Lord's help, we will have no need to fear.
• Learning lessons from the past helps us build our testimonies.
• Doubt is not a principle of the gospel.
• Prayer will fortify us against temptation
• We should enhance our prayers with song and fasting.
• Nothing but the gospel of Christ gives us a permanent solution.
• We are endowed with the spirit of fire
• Discipleship is a journey--we demonstrate to ourselves the extent of our own faith and endurance.
• We must remember who we are and what we have.
• To those who are alone, feel alone, or are abandoned, remember that Christ experienced true and absolute loneliness so that we would never be truly alone. We are never left alone or unaided, even when we feel that way.
• May we always stand by Jesus Christ, for that is how he stands by us.
• Let's take our thoughts away from our troubles and instead focus on our blessings as members of the Church of Christ.
• If we stay with Christ, there will be nothing that can defeat us.
• Satan desires to make us common, while Christ desires to make us precious and unique.
• Temple preparation should be the focus of all we do.
• Member-oriented missionary work is what will bring success. Our full-time missionaries are trained to teach--let's give them those opportunities by finding them people to teach.
• If we haven't already, we need to make an active decision of whom we will serve.
• We need to nourish our testimonies--they will protect us.

Okay, so those are a lot of highlights--it was just a great conference!!

I'll blog more about my life when I have a minute to breathe.

PS--What's up with Michelle, Emily, and me not getting a SP?!?

how about I just quit life?

I wish I had Moosey here to be my buddy.

It's cloudy and rainy outside, I have a cold creeping up me, and I have no motivation. Solution? Let's just quit life, okay? By quit life, I don't mean actually terminating my life, but rather I just want to not address any of my responsibilities today. I wish that I could have just left work early, not gone to class, and spent the rest of the day watching Gilmore Girls in my pajamas.

But I went to work and went to class but am at least putting off homework until I finish this one episode of GG. Here's to an afternoon/evening/night full of researching, reading, and editing with a Frosty run thrown in there.

So I'm sickish, motivationless, unusually tired and can't quit life. I state again, I wish I had Moosey here to be my buddy.

maybe it's the cold??

I had a pretty stellar day yesterday: home by 3, made new blog banner while watching Gilmore Girls (which banner I don't know if I'm going to keep), did some scripture study, read for class, went grocery shopping, went to FHE, made dinner (Parmesan chicken and rice), was visit taught, did a lot more reading for class, went to bed at a decent hour. It was a good day--lovely and productive. I was wearing a way cute outfit and just felt good about life.

So why should my day today be so weird?? I got to sleep in a little bit, because my classes didn't start until 9:30; I relaxed during the forum and made flash cards for my Islam midterm, visited Brooke in the physics department, ate lunch, and went to my editing class. My day started off fine, but around noon a funk settled in. I feel tired, lacking in motivation and energy, and filled with a complete desire to skip out of work early and go home to watch one GG episode.

I'm hoping that a scheduled phone call with Mom, dinner at Cafe Rio with Katie, and a gym excursion with Katelyn will kick me out of this.

I'm looking forward to . . .

I was texting Mom tonight and was feeling a little melancholy, so she suggested we play the "I'm Looking Forward To" game. Here's what I came up with for this week:

• my plans to go to the temple on Tuesday
• Elder Holland's devotional this week
• finding out the staff organization for our class magazine in my capstone editing class
• my Tolstoy class, in which last class I didn't even think to look at the clock and was thoroughly disappointed when the bell rang
• the pages of my page-a-day Eats, Shoots & Leaves calendar

My week is looking a little better :) Thanks, Mom :)

Anything in particular you're looking forward to?

my Sunday morning

Before:




After:

productivity miracle

As I'm sure you can gather from my couple of posts from last week, school has been crazy lately. I feel as if I'm drowning in reading assignments, papers to write, and sleep deprivation. I had lots to do for Friday's classes, and Thursday night after class, I felt so overwhelmed and inadequate. I saw such a huge and looming pile of responsibilities that I thought there was no way I could ever fulfill. I knew I needed to get started on everything I needed to do and decided to read my scriptures before I got started.

I took out my copy of Preach My Gospel and flipped to where I left off last time I studied from there. The section I read was about faith, and it had some scripture references at the end, so I looked them up. I read all of Ether 12. A few verses resonated with me:

verse 6: "I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." I couldn't see a way that I could do everything, so I needed to exercise some faith.

verse 27: "and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." I just felt so weak physically, mentally, emotionally--I don't have to feel that way.

verse 41: "And now, I would commend you to seek this Jesus of whom the prophets and apostles have written, that the grace of God the Father, and also the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost, which beareth record of them, may be and abide in you forever." I needed to seek Christ in my time of need.

After I finished reading, I knelt down and prayed that I would be able to accomplish what I needed to. I expressed my feelings of inadequacy, exhaustion, and state of being overwhelmed. I prayed for power, for a miracle.

When I sat down to start everything, I had the impression to take out my internet cable and turn off my phone. The night from then on out was amazing: I knew how much time I should spend on everything, when I should tackle each task, what to write. I finished everything I needed to in record time, and I was ready for bed before I had to register at midnight.

It was a true miracle. There was no way I'd ever be able to complete everything that was on my to-do list by myself. With Heavenly Father's power, I was motivated, inspired, and uplifted. My sour, pessimistic mood dissipated almost immediately. I felt strength from a source completely outside myself. I was able to focus, synthesize, and produce good work.

It was a miracle.

General Conference: The Cabin

General Conference time is come around again, and I love it! My weekend is going to be pretty varied with where and with whom I watch Conference this time around. Last night after I helped out with Katie's family's mission reunion (more on that later), I headed up to Heber with her family. Her parents just bought a cabin up in that area, and I was invited to come up with her to watch Conference today!


Their cabin is beautiful: it is totally the kind of place my family would love for a family compound. If you want to be by yourself, you can; but, if you want to be with everyone, you can do that too. The ceilings are high and vaulted, the kitchen is big and open, the lighting is cozy, the decks are large--it's just amazing!



Anneli and I slept in the "dormitory" room. It's this long room with four beds in it, so it's perfect for having lots of people over. There are three levels to the cabin, and we watched Conference on the ground level in this cozy room with a big TV and a large, way comfy sectional.

The decor wasn't necessarily to my taste, but it was definitely mountain-y and cozy. There was a big stone woodburning stone fireplace, and several fun little family rooms complete with a ping pong table, a chessboard, and a piano.

In between sessions, Katie's dad took us out on a "cart ride," which was really a ride in a four-wheeler-esque type of vehicle. It was completely open, and it was raining, so I put up my hood and had quite a ride bumping along the muddy roads around the area. It was a definitely a stellar--and wet--20 minutes!

The colors up there were absolutely breathtaking--it was just beautiful. This was outside my the window by my bed:


I brought schoolwork that I need to do, but did I? Not really. I did a little bit of editing, but read only about two pages out of Great Expectations. At least I tried, right?

General Conference since I've been out at school has been a bittersweet experience, because I love love love love love Conference, but I really miss being with my family. So being up in the cabin with Katie and her family was great, because I was with a family, even though it wasn't my family. After the first session, we had a family prayer, and afterwards, I almost got ready for a family cheer--it pulled on my heartstrings a bit.

Some quick highlights from today's Conference sessions:

• The 5 new temples!
• Elder Andersen's talk about how we don't know everything, but we do know enough. That was so encouraging.
• Elder Oaks's saying "texting" in his talk. Not text messaging or using your cell phone, but he actually said "texting."
• President Uchtdorf's connections between hope, faith, and charity
• Elder Holland's talk about how angels are always among us
• Elder Bednar's instructions for having more meaningful prayers
• The children's choir. I loved seeing the kids see the camera and then look away smiling; that one boy who frustratingly thrust his arms down at his side; and the boy who was standing sideways when everyone else was standing facing the right way. Ha!
• The overall theme I saw of hope and faith and comfort: we are never alone.

I loved it, and I can't wait for tomorrow! I probably would have stayed up in Heber for tomorrow's sessions, except that Emily and I have tickets for the morning session tomorrow! We'll be off around 7:00 a.m. . . . Can't wait!

weekend miscellany

My weekend in review:

• I was reunited with my Chicago Manual of Style. We were meant to be. Thanks ELang 410 for giving me another chance with my one true love: commas.
• I started reading Eats, Shoots & Leaves for the first time (if you can believe I haven't read it yet--I mean, it's a whole book dedicated to punctuation). Favorite phrases and clauses include "satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes" and "anger [over egregious punctuation errors] gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker."
  

• The fridge froze at least three of my eggs. Frozen eggs=weird, no?
• I watched the new episode of "Monk" at Brooke's after we watched a whole disc of season one at my apartment. Picture freezer!! Picture go regular!!
  
• I went to my first ever BYU dance. Granted, it was only for half an hour, but I met up with my friend Brennen there and we had fun partying it up.
  
  

• Emily hiked the Y: this is a picture of the Y when Emily was on it. Kudos, Em!
  

• I helped Katie purge her closet. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you to throw out stuff. I learned that from Mom.
• Lunch at Katelyn's on Saturday: Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese, just like the old days.
  

• Emily came over Saturday night and we went to Smith's and watched "Sliding Doors" afterward.
  
• Saturday, there was a banana pancake party at Katelyn's, complete with "Seinfeld."
  
• We had regional conference today: President Uchtdorf and President Packer spoke, and it was stellar.
• There was a CES fireside tonight with Elder Holland, and it was beyond incredible. It's like he knows me or something. He talked all about the lessons we learn from Joseph Smith's stint in Liberty Jail. It was so personal and touching.
  

• I watched a few episodes of "Alias" online. I'm a huge fan. Because, you know, it's not like I don't need another TV show to like. Good grief.
  

• And probably my favorite highlight from the weekend: B-Money. He's a salesman who carries t-shirts he designs himself around in a large duffel and tries to sell them to students. He's especially popular among the 700 East crowd. One of Katelyn's friends invited B-Money to crash the banana pancake party, and so for the first half hour, B-Money was trying to bargain with us on t-shirts (which have his face on them, no joke). He also makes his own hip-hop CDs and was selling them for $7. (The CDs were called "Rag$ to Riche$.") If only I had cash on me. He just hung out for a while, and then went back to pounding the pavement. I wish you all the luck in the world, B-Money.

And now I get to start another week. Hopefully I can find a good school groove: I'm finding motivation hard to come by. Maybe if I buy a B-Money shirt. . . .

Edit: Google "B-Money" on GoogleVideo and enjoy.

a summer morning

For most of the summer (with the exception of the drug den job) I've had at least my mornings free. With my lack of regular full time work, most mornings this summer have been pretty laid back and chill. I don't usually have a car to go anywhere (until I got this great-day-Sashco job), and usually John and Sarah are home. Most of my mornings are pretty much the same, and I really don't have too much to complain about.

I get to sleep in until scriptures, or if we don't read scriptures in the morning, I sleep in until about 8:30 or so. Then I get up and shower (if I need to) and leisurely get ready while listening to Harry Potter on my iPod. Usually I proceed to have a bowl of cereal while reading my book, and then I turn all the fans upstairs to blow out air out of the house and I shut the windows to keep any trace of cool air inside the house. I then head downstairs and write articles (if I have a batch to work on), watch a TV show or two on the DVR, or read. Today I mixed up some banana chip bars before I left for work. It's pretty quiet and having just me and the kids usually isn't so bad. It's a great time to read my scriptures and have quiet, meditative time--I take the mornings for me-time. When I get home, that's when I like to be around people and help out and be in the hubbub of things. The mornings are for me.

There are a couples of cons, however, to this having-the-mornings-off thing. Being in charge of Sarah is exhausting. I don't like it that Mom works in the morning and is home in the afternoon, while I am home in the morning, but work in the afternoon. Sometimes it's too quiet and lonely, and I'd really just like to have someone around. Sometimes I have a hard time being productive and motivated. When I have only a few hours in the morning to get stuff done, it's hard to find the drive to start things, because I think, "Well, I have to leave for work in an hour, anyway."

All things considered, though, my schedule isn't too bad. For money reasons, I'd love to be working full time, but I really feel like this Sashco job is a blessing and the job I should be working. It pays a lot, and I have accepted that I won't be able to save everything I need to for the next school year, so stressing out about that is pointless, since I won't be able to save it all anyway. I'm trying to just take advantage of this laid back summer schedule, because I probably won't have another summer like it (or another laid back schedule, period) for a while.

Operation Santa Fe--Day 2

Day 2 of being the fill-in mom at home was pretty good. I had a dentist appointment at 10, and Sarah went over to a friend's house for a sleepover starting at 11:30 in the morning! Talk about a score for both of us. Sarah got to have a blast going swimming, playing Guitar Hero, and sleeping in a tent while I got to go to a movie and have a friend over without having to worry about whether she was okay, fed, alive, or bored. I had an interview to reactivate my temp agency account which went well--they were very impressed by the fact that I edit, so I'm hoping I can get a summer position doing some kind of editing. Later in the afternoon, I went to see Get Smart with my friend Michael and his sisters. (One of his sisters is dating this guy, but neither of them can drive, so Michael has the pleasure of chauffeuring and chaperoning their dates--ha!) The movie was SO funny--I was smiling or laughing the entire time. I wouldn't normally pair Steve Carrel or Anne Hathaway together, but it worked! It was a great movie, and I would definitely recommend it.


After the movie, Michael and I headed back to my house, where I made Rice Krispie treats for everyone (everyone includes Michael, John, Nick, and me). Then we watched Juno and the extended version of That Thing You Do--it was a great night! I'm way tired because I didn't get to bed until 1:30, and I had to wake up early to pick up Sarah at 8:45 because she has a Primary activity this morning--good grief. I just got out of the shower and have absolutely no motivation to do anything at all. Alas, I do have to make my room presentable and unpacking-free because Emily comes home from CA today (hallelujah--that is definitely not sarcastic. I only got to see her for about 12 hours after I got home and then she left). Well, I'm off to try and be productive . . .

mediocre monday

Several people today have asked me how my weekend was, and my answer has been a solid "mediocre." The past few days have just not been exciting, and I've been in a serious state of The Blahs. I'm burned out with school (I could do another round of classes?! What was I thinking?!), I'm sick of the Physics Department, I'm bored with my ward (however, I am doing my very best to fulfill my calling as 2nd counselor in the RS), I'm sick of Provo in general, I'm ready to check out of my super small apartment, and I'm so ready to go home for the summer. It also doesn't help that we're studying Shakespearean tragedy right now--that's a spirit-lifter. Only 18 more days and I'll be home, so that's great, and I'm sure the time will fly by pretty quick--I still can't believe that spring classes are almost over, because it seems like they just barely started. I think this weekend, my apartment is going to celebrate my birthday (because my birthday isn't until August, we decided to celebrate it early so I can have a b-day celebration with some of my Provo friends), so that hopefully will come through.

I'm trying to improve my attitude, or at least just suck it up. I started reading a leisure book last week (The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck--it's incredible and I'm only 50 pages in). Over the weekend, when I was particularly melancholy, I pulled out my scrapbook stuff and created a bit, which was quite cathartic. Church yesterday was pretty good, which helped out with my morale. I went to Target today, which is always a pleasant experience.

However, despite all these seemingly enjoyable things, I'm still lacking in energy and motivation; I've started listening to Harry Potter in the mornings, which I've realized is a clear indication of my attempt to momentarily escape my own really not-bad-at-all reality. (Note: I haven't completely retreated to HP land quite yet--I do listen to music more than I listen to HP. That's good.) Maybe I can chalk some of the melancholy up to PMS . . .

**Ha, I just read through this and realized that the title of my new leisure book probably doesn't seem like it would be a good thing for me to be reading right now, but it really is a good book.

disintegrating . . .

I feel like my brain is disintegrating. My motivation: -7 My desire for break: 468827. Yesterday I was actually motivated and I guess I was productive--I worked on my British Lit paper all afternoon and finished most of it, but I still had so much to do and so my progress on my paper didn't feel like much. Good grief. Last night, when I still had two short papers to write, Katelyn and I kind of lost it and started making up new noises that we thought were funny (I know--as if we're 7--I know). That's where I am right now in my finals life. Ew.

Today was my last day of my MWF classes which was nice, but I was actually really sad to leave my religion class because it was my most favorite class this semseter. I learned SO much in that class and I felt so connected with all the other students. It was bittersweet--I'm glad it's the last day for some classes, but sad because I loved that class and the people in that class so much. :(

I had my orchestra concert last night which went well I think. It was lots of fun and a couple of girls from work came to see it! Katelyn would have come but she was sick :( It was kind of weird and sad though that my family couldn't come like they came when I was in high school and stuff. It was fun to perform though and fun to dress up and fun to hear people clap for you. I don't know how amazing we were, but it was fun nonetheless.

My good friend Erica and me

So tonight since I don't have orchestra, I'm going to go to pilates at the gym with Katelyn and our friend Viktoria which should be fun. And I feel like I'm rambling with no real coherence to my writing, however I don't think I'll fix it because it's an accurate representation of my state of mind.