Thank you, everyone, for your kind and uplifting comments. Yesterday I went visiting teaching and had one of those experiences when I feel like I was helped more than I was helping. I was humbled by the insight, kindness, and understanding of the women I talked with last night, and now my fears and insecurities, though not gone completely, are softened, my perspective lengthened and refined.
As I was talking with these friends yesterday, I felt Babe move a lot. He'd shift so that his bum was pressed hard against me or his elbow poked my side and stayed there. With each movement I was filled with so much love, and my anxiety retreated to a more tolerable place.
So, readers, I want you to know that while I am far from fearless about entering parenthood, I can't imagine our life or family without this little person--and that makes me so happy.
3 comments:
Hey! So glad you're feeling so good. And I hated it when people rattled off unsolicited advice to me pre-birth, but since in this forum you can choose not to read it, I don't feel so bad. :)
One thing came to mind when I was reading your post, and that's this: it doesn't change much all at once. When Lyla was a couple weeks old and I'd gotten use to the feedings and such, I was surprised with how much life was still the same.
I had more love in my heart, more responsibility on my shoulders, but day to day and hour to hour it was pretty normal. Newborns sleep a LOT. Most of the time, it still feels like Ryan and I are alone because she's sleeping or laying quietly. It's easy to take her places because she can't run around.
I know little changes happen all the time, but it's so gradual I don't notice too much. It doesn't feel inconvenient; it just feels natural and fun. I still write a lot. I go to the gym every day (before Ryan leaves for work). And I have a beautiful little girl to be my sidekick.
Sometimes it feels to me like everyone makes motherhood sound so awful and hard. But I think those days are DEFINITELY the exception. Most days I can honestly say it's not too hard. And it's really, really fun.
Like :)
Yay! I love it when visiting teaching turns out to be really meaningful.
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