on balancing and understanding, loving and standing

I don't think I've ever engaged in a political discussion on this forum before. This is a topic that weighs heavily on my mind often, so I feel the need to discuss it now: gay marriage, and why I'm against it.

I have many friends who will disagree with me, and that's okay. Because here's the thing: I understand the other side of this issue. I really do. And that's why making my stand is a hard thing sometimes. Back in high school, my stand on same-sex marriage was the same as it is now, but my approach wasn't very compassionate or understanding. Now, ten years later, my mind and heart are softened. I'd hope that any comments on this post, if disagreeing, will be respectful.

I believe in marriage. I believe that God created marriage to make us more like Him, created it for a man and a woman. I don't believe that marriage is taken as seriously as it should be; I see heterosexual couples disrespect and devalue marriage today, and that makes me sad.

I believe that homosexual men and women are no different from the rest of us. Some are good, some not as good. Some are kind, some are selfish. Some are compassionate, some intolerant. All of us are children of a loving Heavenly Father.

I believe in right and wrong, and I believe that I have the responsibility to stand for that right. I have a duty to teach my family right and wrong. Judging others is not something I need to worry about; standing for what I believe is. I believe in loving as Christ loves, regardless of our differences. I believe that He is our advocate, that He wants me to reach out to and love everyone. I believe that finding that balance between standing and loving is hard sometimes, but that continually seeking that balance is important and necessary.

I believe that there are things God asks of us that I don't understand. When marriage is doctrinally a union between a man and a women, I don't understand why God created some of us with sexual attractions to those of the same sex. I wish I did understand, but I don't. I believe that someday I will understand and that until that day I need to proceed in faith and prayer.

I believe that God gives us commandments because he wants us to be happy, and He sees a bigger picture, knows the best way to come to happiness, even when that way is hard. I don't believe that being gay is a sin; I believe that choosing to live a gay lifestyle is. I don't believe that choosing against what you feel is easy. In fact, I believe that those struggling with same-sex attraction struggle with something incomprehensibly difficult. I believe that someday God will compensate for that pain. Someday we'll all understand. Just not today.

Some say that legalizing gay marriage won't affect me or my family. But it will. It will affect my children and what they are taught in school. It will affect how I parent them. It will expose my children to issues and topics that they may not be ready to understand so young. I pray so fervently that I will know how to teach my children love and kindness and how to teach them right and wrong. I hope that I can teach them that balance between standing and loving.

I know we are all God's children. He knows us, and He loves us. As a Christian, judging others is not within my purview; both loving and standing, however, are.

If you want to know more about how my faith approaches same-sex attraction and marriage, read this official statement given in 2006.