that time I got kicked out of a restaurant

I brought a hot dog onto the patio of a vegan restaurant. I know. Blasphemy. The thing was that everyone else wanted to eat at Native Foods, and I just wasn't in the mood for falsified meat. So I bought a hot dog and joined my family on the patio of the vegan restaurant. Not a minute later an employee came out and asked me to leave, despite the fact that my whole family had just paid a sizable sum for their cheese-less, meat-less meals. It made me want to slaughter a pig right then and there.

I know you're probably thinking, Well, hot dogs are the vegan antichrist, and you're right. Perhaps a hot dog wasn't the best choice of alternate lunch, but that's not the point. I don't think I was doing anything to disrespect the restaurant or its customers. I was, however, publicly humiliated for not sharing the same values, and there's something wrong with that.

I retaliated by leaving a scathing Yelp review. Vegans can send their hate mail to CharlotteEatsHotDogs@gmail.com 


Whitney Stuart said...

Hilarious! You go girl!

Daniel said...

I respect you so much right now. So, so much.

I also think it's funny that your answer to falsified meat is a hot dog. I mean, I'm only like 68% certain that it's meat in the first place.

Lastly, I challenge you to order a veggie burger with bacon at your next restaurant outing. I will mail you the cost of the meal if that's an issue (provided that you blog about it).

Marianne said...

I cannot believe they asked you to leave! Such self-righteousness! Did you actually leave?

paws said...

If someone was doing something you found morally reprehensible on your front lawn, would you ask them to leave?

Maybe you should have told them it was a tofu dog.

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