why I don't like sun in January

It just sounds absurd, doesn't it? To not like sun at any time of the year. But it's true. January sun is not my thing. It never has been. January is made for melancholy days, and melancholy days aren't always the worst. Cloudy skies give me permission to stay inside myself and ruminate and enjoy the most simple of pleasures. January is for recharging, drinking hot cocoa, reading books in the afternoons, and watching all those wonderful BBC shows. I muster enough motivation to do laundry, make simple dinners, and clean up in Asher's wake, but I don't expect much in the way of excessive productivity. I don't force creativity, but embrace it when inspired. I enjoy the blankets and early sundowns and chilled afternoon walks.

When the sun breaks through, I feel like I need to be adding more to my to-do lists, because don't we all know that we need to make hay while the sun shines? On sunny days I feel guilty for preferring the indoors and making cake that I will inevitably have for breakfast the next day. In January I allow myself quiet moods and try to let go of those things that aren't urgent. January sun is more of a bully to me than a friend, and I welcome those protective clouds that keep my world at bay from that bigger world.

Some--perhaps even most--of my readers welcome January sun as a happy teaser of what's to come in later months. But for me, I'm not ready for spring in January. I'm ready to hibernate, just for a few weeks. And when February comes around I'll be more open to that sun, because the sun will glisten instead of intrude. In January I prefer to seek out sun--and all the productivity and motivation and purpose that come along with it--on my own terms. And if I don't seek it, that's my business. Coming off the holiday high, by January I'm just not ready to be at 100-percent. And that's okay.

January, as much as I sometimes loath the month, is cyclical, and for the first time, I'm realizing that I like this seasonal cycle. I like having one month to dedicate to slowing down and steeping in my thoughts and plans and moods. So January, keep your clouds because they make me feel safe and validated. Sun, your turn will come soon enough.

1 comment:

Kelly(M&M) said...

I am a blog lurker. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me see January gloom in a new way. I am from California and LOVE the sun. So, living in Oregon has always been rough for me. I struggle with the gray skies. You are a beautiful writer and the way you described it just flipped the glass to half full for me. I still will enjoy January sun, but I will also let myself enjoy the excuse to read books and drink hot cocoa!

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