just tired

I'm at that point in the semester where I just want to go home. School-wise this semester hasn't even been so crazy (however, that may be because I've started implementing the 10-6 schedule); I like most of my classes, I feel productive, I've read War and Peace for cryin' out loud. So with school, this has been a good semester.

Looking at my social level this semester, sometimes I've been down. I'm not so social to begin with--I inherited the hermit genes to be sure. Usually I'm okay with my self-imposed hermitage, but sometimes I wonder if I'm weird. Of course I have friends, and I do things--I see people and friends on a regular basis--but sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm just a little off from everyone else. Emily's been good at reassuring me in my supposed peculiarity: she keeps telling me that I shouldn't feel bad doing things I like to do, even if it's something like watching "24" on my computer and going to bed by 11 on a Friday. I am friends with several super social people, so I try not to make that perhaps-more-extreme social behavior the standard. I'm hoping more people stay in on a Saturday night than I think.

But I'm just tired. I think I'm getting enough sleep, but it's that kind of tired where you're physically, mentally, and emotionally spent. I have to remember that I'm in that part of the semester when you can see the end but that end is still just far enough away to not get excited about yet: I feel this unique exhaustion every year, and every time I just want to go home for a little bit, even a weekend. (Plus it probably doesn't help that I haven't heard from my family much in the past week--oh musical season.)

To satiate my need for some interaction with home, Dad and Sarah are driving out to Utah today (they obviously aren't coming out just because I want them to, but Sarah has a clogging competition tomorrow up in American Fork). I have seriously been living for today when I get to see my dad and baby sister for the first time in over two months. Maybe spending a mere thirty-six hours (probably less) with them can help kick me into gear for the last stretch of the semester.

I'm just so tired.


Emily said...

Okay. Ditto about the whole tired thing. I feel burned out. AND, I definitely do 10:30-6:30 and I didn't think anyone else at BYU went to bed that early. Haha.

Have SOO MUCH FUN with your family :)

Diana said...

I'm sorry. I remember this time during the semester its hard. March seemed to be a very long month.
I hope the visit from your Dad and Sarah help you out.
We still need to have our Office game night!

Quanta said...

I feel exactly the same Charlotte. I'm so exhausted and lucky for me I'm only a month into my school year... haha. Have fun with your dad and Sarah!

Jill said...

I think college-life is hard on those of us with hermit tendencies, but there are so many people who are so desperately social just to be social and I don't think that's good either.

I hope the 36 hours with your dad and Sarah recharge you!

Susan said...

I'm so with you onthis one! I don't remember the last time I could possibly have been this tired! We are moving my office across the parking lot....well, I say "we" very casually. I am moving my office (Sneelock and Ryan are my helpers.....) Most nights after the regular office help goes home, I am there until 11:00pm or so trying to sort and cull room after room of important resources that I alone have to sort. Yuk!

I am trying to remember my favorite quote from Henry B.Irying "working past the point of exhaustian refines us and prepares us to endure to the end!" Okay, it's late, so that might not be the exact quote....but I still love it. Sorry to turn my remark into an "oh woe is me" comment! I really hope you can endure to the end and get through the next few weeks.

I am beginning to consider myself a social outcast.......I'm sure you're not that bad!

Have fun with your Dad and Sarah. As for your Mom, I'm really looking forward to having her back too!

paws said...

Being tired will give you good practice for when you have a baby...I feel your pain, sista!

michelle said...

I didn't know you were doing the 10-6 schedule, too. No matter how much sleep you get, which in college is probably never quite enough, it's hard not to be tired by the end of the school year.

I wish I'd known about Sarah's clogging competition! And I hope you got a burst of family energy to carry you through...

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