39 weeks--the home stretch
When I drift off to sleep I think, What if it happens tonight?
Before I open my eyes in the morning I wonder, Will this be the day?
Life is surreal right now, knowing that everything is poised to change but not knowing when. Every phone call I make to Josh he jumps, wondering if this is the call. Our life is suspended; we wake up not knowing if the next morning we'll be three instead of two.
Sometimes I feel uneasy or impatient. Most of the time, though, I feel remarkably calm. I go about my days with quiet purpose. I fold laundry, make dinner, and hang nursery art with deliberate design. I watch TV and suck on popsicles, allowing myself quiet and relaxation when I need it. I give myself extra time to cuddle with Josh on the couch, because I know our days with just the two of us are swiftly drawing to an end.
I wonder what Babe is thinking and feeling right now. Is he scared? Excited? Ready? Does he already love us as his parents? Because I can't tell you how much we already love him. I hope he knows how loved and wanted he is. I hope that makes it easier for him to leave such a beautiful place for this mortality.
Our days right now are more purposeful as we wait for this babe to arrive. We're filled with the purest form of anticipation. When our boy is ready to come, we'll be waiting with open arms and hearts. I hope he's ready soon.