because it's what we do

Right now, church is the hardest thing I do every week. I'm almost not kidding. We dress up and try to keep Asher occupied for three hours. Three. In our church when kids turn eighteen months old they can go to the nursery for the second two hours. But Asher? He just turned fifteen months. So, three months to go. And from what other moms tell me, I'm in the worst part of pre-nursery days. And it's hard.

Asher is curious, restless, and loud, which is no surprise--he's a toddler. And it's not like church clothes are conducive to baby-wrangling. Every Sunday there's one moment when I wonder why we do this for three hours. Whichever of us has the boy doesn't really get to enjoy lessons or anything spiritually uplifting. When I have the boy during the last hour, I pretty much run out of the building, with Josh trailing behind swinging the diaper bag. So, again I ask, Why do we do this?

And I guess the answer is simple: we endure those three hours of baby chaos because it's just what we do. We go to church because it's what our family does on Sundays. Attending church isn't even really a conscious decision every week--it's just what we do. And even though it's really hard sometimes, I'm really really glad we do it. Because if I had to consciously decide every single week whether we would go or not, I think I might choose not to go more weeks than not. And I think the consequences of phasing out church in my life would have a much more lasting and negative effect on my heart--and on the heart of my sweet boy--than the consequences of crazy baby-chasing. I believe that in our family, consistently choosing church makes small impressions on his soul every week. And maybe those impressions will mean something big for him later, even if it means I'm crazy-eyed for a bit. 

Good things are often hard things, and sometimes doing good things don't produce immediate results. So we have to remember that they're good and that we should be doing them. Going to church every week is a hard thing right now. But it's also a good thing--a really, really good thing.


Sue Cochrun said...

Reading your blog and thoughts takes me back in time. I had similar feelings. We want to be spiritual and feel the spirit on Sundays, trying so hard wrestling with those budding spirits. Hang in there. It is like you said important and the thing you do.
Because I have been through it, it makes sense now. We can't help but wonder if it is worth it, but like I am sure you know the future blessings are worth the struggle now. If you need to give up a job assignment let me know just to get through this rough stage. You are a marvelous RS secretary.

Sonia said...

So been there. It is hard and sometimes you do wonder if it would better for all involved if you just stayed home. However, I think it also teaches those kids that church is important even when it's hard. You are doing an awesome job and you are an awesome mom. Keep up the good work.

Whitney Stuart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jill said...

Well said!!

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