Let's get a few things straight: I may not have enjoyed very much what I do at my job; however, I have very much enjoyed having a job. Jobs are hard to come by right now, and I have been grateful every day for the job that I have. And even though my duties haven't been anything glamorous, doing my job well is very important to me.
So you can imagine the conflicted feelings I had when my supervisor informed me that the company is ending my contract in lieu of hiring a gallery director (for our lower floor) who will absorb my responsibilities. This was unexpected and carries a few contrasting emotions. Since I started this job, the end seemed indefinite, and so I tried to adjust accordingly. Now all of a sudden, I have one week left with nothing lined up to follow.
In many ways, this change is a relief. Perhaps now I can devote more time and energy toward looking for a job that better fits my skill set and that's closer to home.
When I think about this new unknown in our life, part of me fills with anxiety. I hate job searching, because it's so full of rejection and dead-ends. Also, we've really come to enjoy the reassurance that comes with that extra cushion of income each week. The other part of me, though, fills with the anticipation that so often accompanies opportunity.
I feel . . . released. I feel like I have the opportunity to find a job that fits, maybe in not every way, but in at least some ways.
Yes, I will not miss this particular job, but I will miss having a job. So here's to opportunity, finding a fit, and maybe sneaking to the pool for some reading in the interim.