when I fell out of love with him

It was hard for me to move on. Every day on my way to campus I'd pass his apartment complex, wondering whether I'd see him and what I'd say or do if I did. We had several run-ins that school year, some accidental and some not. Every time I pretended that I'd gotten over it, but I hadn't. I tried and tried not to think about him; my heartbreak was active and ever-present.

My moment of absolution came in the grocery store one day in February. I saw Josh in the cereal aisle, and when he turned on the charm I wasn't swayed. What followed could only be described as something straight out of a Meg Ryan movie. I left empowered and free. In the months after our grocery store encounter I pieced myself back together and emerged whole and healed. That summer I fell in love with someone else.

***

That interim relationship could easily win its own narrative, but I'll truncate it. It started out simple and turned complicated. After a few months it started crumbling, but I dived into denial and told myself it would work. But it wasn't working. I was unhappy. I didn't feel valued or loved or important by the person I was with.

That's when my phone rang, when my phone displayed "Josh Wilson" for the first time in nine months.