I wish I could either rewind this day and start over or fast forward to Saturday to really put this day behind me. It's been an overly emotional day full of thoughts and emotions that battle each other to the point where I can't make head nor tails of any of it. In the middle of it all, Mr. Wilson and I aren't getting along today, and isn't it the worst to be in a fight with your best friend?
I'm diverting my hyperactive thoughts and tears into researching a bigger car seat for the babe, and my resolution is teetering between meeting everyone up for rock climbing or just staying home and throwing in the towel. Thankfully the babe has been a rock star today, smiling and laughing as if he knows that I need some cheering up.
What I really want to do is run away and go hang out at my mom and dad's, where we'd watch piled-up shows on the DVR and have popcorn for dinner. That's what I really want. And I guess that's going to happen in 10ish days, but today, 10ish days seems so far.
My reason and humility just found me and made me stare it straight in the eyes and it's saying that I need to make up with my husband and get with the program. It may not feel like it, but this day is close to over, and I get a second chance come sunrise. Or maybe sunset. Maybe today's sunset will bear that second chance I crave. Maybe I can even eek a reluctant smile out of this day. Maybe I don't need to rewind or fast forward, but rather hit pause and allow my feelings and my thoughts and my hurt to align so my soul can throw out that persistent pride.
It's time, here we go, pause. . . .