6.17.2013

a eureka! marriage moment

I did it. I finally nailed down Josh's love language.

Yesterday was Father's Day. Obviously. We're not huge gift givers when it comes to holidays other than birthdays or Christmas. (Gift-giving is probably at the bottom of both our love language lists. We appreciate gifts--obviously--but especially when it comes to the two of us, we're close to indifferent about it.) So for Father's Day, I reciprocated what he did for me on Mother's Day. I let him sleep in, made him breakfast, took care of all baby duty to-dos (except for one poopy diaper Josh insisted on changing because he "had to be a father on Father's Day"), made him a cake, and let him indulge in Josh-time while I took care of everything else. I enjoyed doing it, and he seemed to enjoy it too.

So here's where my revelation comes in. Later that night he was telling me how much he appreciated the day and how it felt so special to him. Then it clicked. Josh feels loved through acts of service.

You would think figuring out his love language should have been easy, but when you're married to a man who has a hard time talking about feelings, sitting down to talk about love languages is probably not the best plan of action. So I observed. And observed. And observed a little bit more.

I observed until it hit me in the face that obviously Josh responds best to acts of service: letting him have the last brownie, making dinner after work, packing him lunch, suggesting he play on the computer instead of putting away dishes (sometimes), pouring him a glass of cold water because I know he's thirsty. It's so simple, I can't believe it took me this long. But here I am, a newly enlightened wife, and eureka! I'm feeling empowered.

I feel loved through words of affirmation, perhaps the most insecure of love languages? What's yours?

4 comments:

Carrrie said...

Quality Time for me with acts of service close behind. My hubs is definitely touch. ;)

Carrrie said...

I always love reading your blog. Love languages kind of fascinate me. ;)

Jessica said...

I've loved your posts lately! Well, all the time, but especially the last few! Funny how in marriage it takes so long to figure the other person out! I think different days, I have different love languages, but I especially feel loved with quality time and words of affirmation, and touch. I do like gifts thrown in here and there, but it's mostly because I want t know he's thinking of me. Gosh I make myself sound complicated!

Katie Grosskopf said...

We recently went through the Love Languages book too. It proved to be quite a frustrating process. I am mostly gifts and somewhat words of affirmation and quality time. Daniel is mostly words of affirmation with some Acts of Service. See...frustrating.

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