a curious train of thought

{Scene: Charlotte and a feverish Asher on the couch watching the sixth consecutive episode of Curious George. The following is an except of Charlotte's thoughts as she watches this children's program with which she is now very acquainted.}

How are The Man in the Yellow Hat's friends and neighbors okay with his owning a formerly wild monkey?
Doesn't he know that monkeys will rip off your face?
He must not have Facebook.
Otherwise he'd know these things.

I can't believe TMINYH actually thinks that when he says, "Be a good little monkey!" that George will actually behave.
George is a wild animal.
When TMITYH says he's "going to work" what does that mean?
What does TMITYH actually do for a living?

His career--whatever it is--must be profitable.
I mean, he and his pet monkey live in a city penthouse and have a second home in the country.
That doesn't make George or his guardian very relatable to the target audience.
How many kids do you know that have two posh pads?
I mean, come on. I wonder if TMITYH is part of the "one percent."
He must be.
How else can he afford to pay for the continual damage inflicted by his monkey-child?

And how does George get away with so many antics?
Seriously, if my child broke the city clock, I wouldn't laugh and smile and make a fake-mad face.
Damaging major city property has consequences, George!
And what kind of parent/guardian just lets their monkey-child roam the city with no one but a dog as a companion? I would never let my kid roam busy streets unsupervised.
Why has no one called Child Protective Services?
Maybe CPS doesn't deal with primates.

And let's not even get started on George's space explorations.
Who authorized that? And why does TMITYH get to go to space?
I restate, What does he do?
Where are the regulations here?
Apparently, these days anyone can go into space as long as you know your shapes like George.

What's going on between TMITYH and Professor Wiseman, anyway?
I wonder if they'll ever develop that plot line.
Because we all think it.

And what happens in George's later years?
Like when his country friend goes away to school, leaving George at home?
He'll end up that weird, awkward monkey-adult with no education and no friends, because all of his friends are humans who live real human lives and don't like their plumbing taken apart.
How long can you keep this up, George?

George isn't a great role model.
But there are worse role models for children.
Like Hannah Montana.
Or any other Disney star monstrosity.
So Curious George isn't so bad.
He's a little naughty.
But maybe that bit of childhood is relatable.
I mean, if the kids can look past George's affluent lifestyle, that is.

{End scene, because Charlotte has to get up to refill the Gatorade in Asher's sippee cup.}