Over and over his face broke into smiles so big he could hardly contain them.
I swam in the love lavished on me by my little boy and basked in his radiated happiness. And still a part of my heart hurt, because these days swiftly pass. Even as a mother of only eleven weeks, I know this truth. Time moves unsolicitously onward, to places perhaps still wonderful but all too devoid of a babe's smiles.
I want to bottle up these days, these days when Asher is my pal because he that's all he wants to be, when I'm his world and he mine. I want to preserve the snuggles of the midnight feedings and his responsive coos of recognition.
These days of babyhood are so different from how I imagined them. This job is hard and demanding and emotional, yet I find myself drowning in love for my family, unable to catch my breath for the surges of devotion that wash on my heart daily.
I want to savor these days and remember them always, for they are fleeting.
4 comments:
I know just what you mean about those "surges of devotion." I call them "love bursts," because they make me feel like my heart is going to explode. Usually I grab Lyla and hug her so hard she pushes me away, but I can't help it. Wouldn't it be great to bottle those times up?
These pictures are so adorable! What a cute smile.
I find it very hopeful to read your words saying you'll miss these days, as whenever I have a panic attack about the baby to come I usually think, "I just have to get through the first three months and then it will get easier." It's nice to hear you say how much you love this time.
P.S. Great shoes.
As always, you have so aptly captured the love of a mother in such beautiful words. I love that you are recording your thoughts and feelings; they will be such a treasure to you and your family in years to come!
It's wonderful that you are recording these feelings. You are right to savor these days, they are all too fleeting. Last night, Eva informed me that she is too mature for hugs now. What the?!
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