my real life take 2

Once again I fell into self-doubt and second-guessing my life and decisions. I try to trust myself but often find I can't. I've never felt this way before and this mentality has never been a serious problem for me, but lately I haven't been feeling good enough. Isn't that awful? Isn't that just how Satan wants me to feel?

So I read President Uchtdorf's talk to the Relief Society about how happiness is our heritage, and I made some goals. I talked to my sister, who empathized and understood. I read a devotional given by Elder Holland two years ago about "remembering Lot's wife." Sister Holland, back when the she and her husband were just about my age, said, "The future holds everything hopeful for us." I need to remember that the future holds everything hopeful for me.

Yes, I'm scared about my post-graduation life, because I don't see the plan, and the plan I have for myself is short-reaching because that's all I can see. Yes, I sometimes feel like I'm stepping into the dark. Yes, it's hard sometimes to make my own happiness, but it is possible. I can't be like Lot's wife and yearn for the past when retrospectively things seemed easier, because like Elder Holland said, "Faith is of the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there."

In these moments, brief or prolonged, when I feel scared and little and just not good enough, I'll remember that the future holds everything for me. Everything.

Take that, Satan.